Negative heat fluctuations need no quantum explanation. An Evidence Press briefing. When a tiny device sits between a hot and a cold reservoir, heat flows through it in random bursts. The average flow is the first statistic people measure. The third and fourth statistics, called cumulants, describe whether the flow is lopsided and how heavy its tails are. In 2022, the physicist Ptaszyński found that in more than thirty thousand random classical models driven only by temperature differences, two ratios of these statistics were never negative. He conjectured that they never are. If true, a negative ratio would be a cheap test for quantum effects or for some driving other than heat. Using models with just three states, this release shows that the conjecture is false. Picture a conductor that occasionally falls into an idle trap state, which it enters rarely and leaves slowly. Its heat flow switches between running and pausing, like a telegraph signal. Rare long pauses make both ratios negative, and they can be made as negative as you like while the energies, temperatures and average heat flow stay fixed. Two states can never do this in the standard model. What still holds: bounds based on the variance, such as the thermodynamic uncertainty relation, are untouched. The paper also proves a kinetic bound: very negative ratios require slow relaxation, which can be checked directly. So a negative ratio does not, by itself, certify quantum or non-thermal driving; slow switching must be ruled out first. The results have written proofs and exact computer checks. This is an anonymous, AI-assisted, unrefereed candidate, not peer reviewed or independently reproduced. Published on 27 October 2026, its paper and evidence are linked from the Evidence Press release page. This briefing uses an AI-generated voice and is not additional scientific evidence.